Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
