2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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