getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They took my balls.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
