I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
