I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
