I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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