Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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