After last night, I could never be a politician.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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