i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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