Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
