Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize