I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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