Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize