apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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