Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize