Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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