the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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