is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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