Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
