i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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