Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize