So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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