His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
please come you make the beer taste better
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
