How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
