Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
