These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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