I CAN MOONWALK!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize