using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
