if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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