Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
