Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize