Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize