does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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