yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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