do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
