ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my shit smells like andre
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize