I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
