i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have feelings that need drinking.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
