Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
