Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
