im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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