I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
