it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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