we were pretty classy up until the second keg
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So vagazzling was a success
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
