apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
