walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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