If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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