Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
