Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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