Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
