Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize