she woke up with a sticky ear
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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