Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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